Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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