i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize