Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize