8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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