I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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