I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
