Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
