He told me they were just razor bumps!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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