you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
