Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
