I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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