I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
