There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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