Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
