just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.