I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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