Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.

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(303): Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe. http://tfl.nu/e8mh

Replies (5) Good night (1171) Bad night (396)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.

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(608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. http://tfl.nu/1sa0

Replies (18) Good night (1032) Bad night (2429)
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(720): View more from Colorado

He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.

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(720): He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible. http://tfl.nu/qdhh

Replies (9) Good night (586) Bad night (3426) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.

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(916): A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever. http://tfl.nu/cexy

Replies (65) Good night (1462) Bad night (5486) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?

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(415): The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish? http://tfl.nu/s0dr

Replies (10) Good night (753) Bad night (3963) Order T-Shirt
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(561): View more from Florida

he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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(561): he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him http://tfl.nu/gz84

Replies (15) Good night (4701) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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(678): I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/k0mm

Replies (12) Good night (2830) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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(254): View more from Texas

Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.

(254): View more from Texas

Tornado warnings are fun!

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(254): Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows. (254): Tornado warnings are fun! http://tfl.nu/9sqb

Replies (13) Good night (3176) Bad night (910)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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(902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3

Replies (6) Good night (1892) Bad night (1283) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about

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(505): Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about http://tfl.nu/ldbx

Replies (5) Good night (1105) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.

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(512): Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person. http://tfl.nu/kj3e

Replies (5) Good night (2390) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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(661): View more from California

random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them

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(661): random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them http://tfl.nu/utqt

Replies (1) Good night (1267) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.

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(508): Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos. http://tfl.nu/qg1c

Replies (7) Good night (1612) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death

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(262): You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death http://tfl.nu/q3md

Replies (4) Good night (903) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.

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(334): As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream. http://tfl.nu/b74h

Replies (3) Good night (535) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt

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