lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people