Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on

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  (607): I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on http://tfl.nu/pu4k
  Replies (2) Good night (2091) Bad night (791)
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  (925): View more from California

  Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through

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  (925): Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen? (1-925): Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through http://tfl.nu/7r4x
  Replies (11) Good night (1123) Bad night (737)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

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  (912): I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night. http://tfl.nu/zcqt
  Replies (22) Good night (3146) Bad night (862)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out

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  (513): Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out http://tfl.nu/2ht3
  Replies (19) Good night (4271) Bad night (763)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth

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  (313): you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth http://tfl.nu/33ft
  Replies (31) Good night (1958) Bad night (6267)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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  (910): I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/hxzm
  Replies (3) Good night (1721) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong

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  (319): Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong http://tfl.nu/nuya
  Replies (6) Good night (3707) Bad night (690)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."

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  (478): Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like." http://tfl.nu/6r4y
  Replies (6) Good night (1135) Bad night (633)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties

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  (217): It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties http://tfl.nu/jqe8
  Replies (2) Good night (1010) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.

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  (931): I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds. http://tfl.nu/alhy
  Replies (1) Good night (932) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.

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  (813): Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over. http://tfl.nu/p98p
  Replies (4) Good night (961) Bad night (334)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.

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  (337): So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned. http://tfl.nu/3vjy
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.

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  (843): I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least. http://tfl.nu/90gk
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.

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  (703): I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone. http://tfl.nu/an49
  Replies (5) Good night (380) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila

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  (727): Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila http://tfl.nu/16vs
  Replies (5) Good night (784) Bad night (232)

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