Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener http://tfl.nu/2syz
  Replies (6) Good night (505) Bad night (2120)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  You don't think I'm weird or immature right?

  (917): View more from New York City

  No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): You don't think I'm weird or immature right? (917): No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets http://tfl.nu/6cpc
  Replies (40) Good night (4681) Bad night (3927)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up http://tfl.nu/mr2g
  Replies (26) Good night (4421) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this? http://tfl.nu/pvqp
  Replies (43) Good night (4695) Bad night (2237)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine http://tfl.nu/b6e8
  Replies (6) Good night (2296) Bad night (3222)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea http://tfl.nu/f1ip
  Replies (5) Good night (1417) Bad night (1540)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

  (1-714): View more from California

  If he was naked that was me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed. (1-714): If he was naked that was me. http://tfl.nu/ou2y
  Replies (10) Good night (4734) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated. http://tfl.nu/ajsd
  Replies (5) Good night (1480) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  do you still have it? i kinda want to see.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner. (732): do you still have it? i kinda want to see. http://tfl.nu/j8xe
  Replies (4) Good night (1923) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined. http://tfl.nu/slim
  Replies (8) Good night (1410) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick http://tfl.nu/xnq8
  Replies (9) Good night (1125) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  No promises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year. (313): No promises http://tfl.nu/55qj
  Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having. http://tfl.nu/8yzd
  Replies (1) Good night (205) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus http://tfl.nu/m81q
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (157)

Randomize