if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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