Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
