tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
