turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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