do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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