i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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