HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
whose parrot is this?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
