Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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