thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
