careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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