You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
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When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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