I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
