I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
