I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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