every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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