dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
