You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
