it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
