I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
