Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
