Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
