He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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