When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
