i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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