11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
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