I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
