Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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