I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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