Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
