watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
