bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
