she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
