Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize