So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
