RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
