You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
