Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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