I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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