Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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