We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
